


reincarnations of you and me

by orphan_account



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: A lotta angst, Angst, Canon Universe, Established Relationship, Fluff, Insecurities, Laith, Love, M/M, Major character death - Freeform, Modern Setting, Reincarnations, Voltron, klance, klance angst, klance fluff, previous lives
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-13
Updated: 2019-11-13
Packaged: 2021-01-30 06:07:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,907
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21423418
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Keith and Lance met in their previous lives. However, Keith had left Lance heartbroken twice by dying first in their previous lives.The second time they met in a new life, Keith had died first, to the point Lance couldn’t handle the heartbreak.They meet again as Paladins of Voltron, without memories of their previous lives.
Relationships: Keith/Lance
Comments: 4
Kudos: 114





	reincarnations of you and me

* * *

**i. promises**

* * *

_ “We’ll see each other again in our next lives.” _

_ “Promise me we will.” _

_ “I promise.” _

* * *

Keith wakes up in his next life with his previous life’s memories. 

And he knows that Lance is here somewhere.

Keith is happy that he gets to live a happy life, despite his previous one. He has parents who love him dearly and with all their hearts. Keith loves them too.

Even though Keith has a peaceful life, he feels empty. Like the other half of him is missing. He knows why and he knows what to do. His heart _aches_ for Lance.

So he spends half his life searching for him. Unfortunately, his searching comes to an end.

“_Cancer_.” He says the word mike it’s unfamiliar. He feels his mother’s grip on his hand tighten. The word ‘cancer’ runs through his mind more and more as his father desperately asks the doctor on what they can do.

_ I won’t make it long enough to find him _ , Keith thinks numbly. There are tears in his eyes as he thinks of Lance’s smile, crooked and still full of joy. Keith might not be able to live long enough to see it again.

His hair starts to fall out. A few months later, his mullet is gone completely.  Lance would be happy that my mullet is gone , Keith thinks as he stares at his reflection in the mirror. He still remembers Lance rolling his eyes and saying  “_Having a mullet is an abomination, Keith! It’s like 2013, Keith! Mullets are out of style!_”

He walks out of the bathroom, caressing the back of his head numbly. He kind of misses his mullet.

_ He also misses Lance. _

“Keith?”

He knows that voice.

He looks up to see  Lance , who’s supported by crutches. His eyes flick downwards towards the cast on Lance’s leg.

“Your mullet.” Lance says, “ _It’s gone_. ”

Keith snorts. “More than 50 years we haven’t seen each other and this is the first thing you say to me?”

Lance cracks a smile. “I can’t make fun of you anymore, Kogane.” He limps forward on his crutches, and he brushes his thumb against Keith’s cheek, causing Keith to flush. “I... what happened to your hair?”

“Cancer.” Keith croaks. He sees the light disappear from Lance’s eyes, and it’s the same way Lance looks when Keith died in front of Lance’s eyes. “It’s... it’s okay. I’m battling it.”

Lance looks a little relieved at that but worry is still evident on his face. “And soon, when it’s gone, I know for a fact you’re going to grow your mullet back and I’m forced to cut it for you.” Keith cracks a smile at Lance’s attempted joke.

_When it’s gone_.  Lance’s words echoed in Keith’s head.

He doesn’t tell Lance the cancer is spreading. Instead, he asks, “So, whats your story?”

“Ah,” Lance chuckles, glancing at his cast, “Well, I have a little sister in this life. She left her toy on the staircase and I tripped and fell. That was a few days ago. My dad’s sick so my family and I are visiting him at the moment.”

Keith nods. “So I guess I’m going to see you around the hospital more often?”

Lance smiles brightly and it makes Keith’s heart warm and ache at the same time. “Yep. Better get used to seeing this pretty face around.”

Keith snorts, “I’ve had deal with you for half my life in our previous lives. I’m sure I’m used to seeing your  pretty  face.” Lance blushes at that.

“Who knew you’d be a flirt in this life?” Lance says and Keith flushes at that too. Lance smiles the crooked smile Keith  loves—  er, hates. “I kind of missed you, you know. When I thought about finding you again, I thought about all the things I’d tell you. I was going to say  _I’m sorry_.”  He pauses, “ _Thank you. I love you_. ”

Keith’s breath hitches.

They spend the afternoon together at the local park near the hospital. The doctors and his parents encourage him to go outside and get fresh air once in a while and Keith doesn’t mind it as he gets to spend the time with Lance.

Months pass, and Lance’s dad eventually gets better. Lance’s leg has fully healed and his smile get brighter everyday.

However, Keith gets even more paler each day.

“Are you okay?” Lance asks. He’s sitting at the edge of Keith’s bed, worry and concern evident on his face. Keith doesn’t tell him that he’s almost at the last stage of cancer, and instead, he forces a smile and nods.

Lance doesn’t buy it but he trusts Keith.

He loves Keith, and he tells him that as he grasps Keith’s hand in his. “Don’t leave me this time, okay?” Lance says. “I had to watch you die in my arms. I don’t want that to happen again..”

Keith rolls his eyes. “How could I even die in your arms this time? I’m in a hospital.”

“Keith, you idiot, I meant it as a metaphor.” Lance says and Keith lands a weak punch on Lance’s arm. Lance laughs it off which makes Keith smile. “I don’t want you to leave me again. It was hell. I don’t want to,” Lance pauses, “Relive that again.”

_You’re going to have to_.  Keith thinks, his heart aching.

Lance comes to visit Keith the next day, and he has a bouquet of flowers in his hands. The nurses eye him, smirking and giving him knowing glances as they know the flowers are for Keith. Some nurses look at him with sympathy because they’re the only ones that know what had happened last night.

He enters Keith’s room, knocking. “Hey, Keith—“

He stops short. The bed is empty and the room shows no sign of Keith ever being here. Lance feels confused, turning around to ask the nurses if Keith had been transferred to another ward or room.

“Excuse me, where’s Keith Kogane? He’s one of the cancer patients.” Lance asks the nurse at the counter. “Did he get transferred? Is he okay?”

The nurse at the desk has a sad look in her eyes.

Lance knows that look.

“No.” Lance whispers. “ No. No, no, no, no. ” His heart drops and he feels queasy like he’s about to vomit. “It’s— it’s not— he’s not—“ His throat closes up. There are tears already forming in his eyes, and his fingers are gripping the bouquet tightly to the point it might have ruined the flowers’ stems.

“I’m sorry, sweetie.” The lady sighs, smiling sadly.

_Everything hurts._

_ It happened again. _

_ He was taken away from me again.  _

Lance can’t bear it anymore. It had hurt so much the first time Keith left him, and now, the pain had doubled. The feeling of his heart breaking into pieces; Lance can’t take it anymore.

He can’t.

_ So, if the only way of getting rid of this feeling is by forgetting Keith, then erase these memories of mine. So I won’t be hurt the next time I see him. _

* * *

**ii. when the stars align **

* * *

Lance believes in past lives. His parents had told him all about it. They said that everyone had one, and even though you don’t have memories about your past life, its okay.

He doesn’t have memories of his past life unlike his siblings but it’s okay. He knows his previous life had a reason on why he decided to give up his memories.

Maybe he thinks it’s because he was in love in his previous life.

Throughout his years at the Garrison, he’s never spoken to Keith, never even said a word or two. But, he knows the way Keith smiles, though Keith was a brooding emo at the Garrison and Lance had never seen him smile. He knows how Keith’s laughter sounds like, the crinkle by his eyes when he laughs too hard. He knows the pattern of small freckles on Keith’s nose even though you had to get really up close to Keith to even see it.

Lance feels nostalgic, looking at Keith, as if Keith was a part of his previous life. Sometimes, he even caught Keith staring at him. But he knows that he and Keith had never met each other in their previous lives because if they had, at least they would have known in some way.

However, he still follows Keith’s lead because his guts tell him to.

That’s how he ends up talking about the stars with Keith late at night, sitting on the floor of the observation deck.

“I think I don’t have my previous life’s memories because I fell in love.” Lance says. Keith cocks his eyebrow, confusion coloring his face. Lance sighs, “Most people give up their memories because of a broken heart. I think I fell in love and broke my heart before.”

Keith tilts his head at Lance. “But no one can have their heart broken just because of one person to the point they give to their memories, can they?”

Lance shakes his head. “If they love hard enough, then....” He trails off, shrugging. “I mean you lost your memories of your previous life too. Maybe you got your heart broken too.”

Keith bites his bottom lip as he stares at Lance who looks lost in thought.He honestly doesn’t care that he doesn’t have his previous life memories. This life had already sucked since he was born, having no mother and having his dad die while Keith was merely a child.

Even though he doesn’t care about his previous life, he cares about Lance. He wonders who broke Lance’s heart.  Lance doesn’t deserve getting hurt by someone, be it his previous life.

Then, Lance looks at him and smiles a smile Keith recognizes. He doesn’t know where he recognizes that crooked smile from but he does, and Keith can’t help but wonder how Lance’s lips would feel like against his.

Strangely, he already know what it would feel like even though he has never pressed his lips against Lance’s.

“There’s this phrase Shiro told me.” Keith says. Lance raises his eyebrow in confusion. “It’s in Japanese. It’s  _ koi no yokan _ . It means something like love at second sight. You meet them but you don’t fall in love with them right away. It’s the feeling when you meet someone that you’re going to fall in love with them. You don’t fall in love with them right away but you will eventually fall in love with them because it’s inevitable.

“It’s what I feel when I look at you.” Keith smiles softly.

“Who knew you’d would be such a flirt in this life?” Lance laughs. Keith follows him, laughing too. “The stoic Keith Kogane, star pilot of the Garrison, the red Paladin of Voltron is actually a  flirt. ”

Keith rolls his eyes. “I’m not a flirt. You’re the one who goes around flirting with aliens.”

“I’m not the one proclaiming my love.”

“Well, I do like you.” Keith mumbles, flushing. Lance blushes too, smiling softly at Keith. A crooked smile only Keith knows.

“I like you too.”

* * *

It’s been 4 months since they’ve been together. They’ve gone through a lot— a bit heavier than most couples would have to go through since they are defenders of the universe.

But it’s worth being a paladin, Keith thinks, as he lies his head on Lance’s chest. It’s worth going through so much pain and suffering because  Lance  is there with him. Lance is always going to be there to help him, and same as with Keith to Lance. And if they weren’t Paladins, Keith would never get to feel all this happiness bubbling inside him right now.

But sometimes, it isn’t worth being one.

There are times when Lance gets injured and it’s a near-death situation. And there’ll be screaming— lots of them, and usually, it’ll be Keith screaming and crying for Lance to stay with him. Every time it happens, it feels like someone is trying to rip out Keith’s soul, and it’s hurts like  hell—  and he doesn’t want it to happen again. He needs Lance to stay here because he’s not ready to let Lance go yet.

He isn’t ready.

He snaps back to reality when he hears Lance’s soft voice. He looks up from where he’s lying down, on Lance’s chest. “ And if the whole word was watching, I’d still dance with you .” Lance sings softly. “ Drive highways and byways to be there with you. ” Then he abruptly stops singing and he looks at Keith with a sly grin.

“Y’know, we’ve never danced together before.”

Keith hums, burying his head on Lance’s chest again. “Yes we have. We went to an alien ball last time, remember? We had to dress up all fancy and dance.” Keith can barely remember that ball. However, he remembers how good the food tasted, how Allura kept chiding them about their clothes being wrinkled, how Keith had accidentally knocked his glass and his drink spilled all over Lance’s lap. He also remembers how he and lance had a dance together— well, it was mostly a dance off. Lance had challenged Keith that he couldn’t do the most stupid dance without Shiro noticing. The rest of that might had faded away from his memories.

“Yeah, but I meant like an  actual  dance. Like, y’know, slow dancing?” Lance says and Keith looks up at him with confusion coloring his face.

“You want to slow dance?” Keith asks. “Like right now?”

“I didn’t say right now but right now might be a good time.” Lance replies, smiling. Suddenly, he’s sitting up and Keith has to sit up too. “You know how to slow dance, right?”

“Um.” Keith looks at anywhere but his eyes. “Yes?”

Lance snickers. “Aw, Keith, you don’t know how to slow dance, do you?”

Keith shoves Lance playfully but he doesn’t answer. He hears Lance let out another snicker and he’s about to retort but suddenly his wrist is suddenly being pulled up. Keith looks up to see Lance already standing and trying to get Keith out of bed.

“How are we supposed to even dance?” Keith deadpans. “There’s no radio or—“

“Keith, Keith, Keith.” Lance tsked. He moves around the room and grabs a small device— his phone. Well,  space phone since his actual phone was long gone. Keith waits patiently as Lance clicks an app and suddenly soft music is playing.

Keith recognizes the melody of this tune. He vaguely hears Shiro singing this song to Adam back on Earth. He remembers that he was standing by their doorway, chest filled with warmth when he heard Shiro sang it to Adam, wanting to feel that same kind of love himself when he’s older. He smiles, realizing that he is experiencing and feeling this kind of love right now.

“It took a lot for me to get this song.” Lance says, pocketing his phone. “It’s from Earth, obviously, and me and Pidge had to do a lot to finally get this song.”

Keith nods. “I know this song.” He states and Lance raises a brow and holds out his hands to Keith, who takes them into his own hands without any reluctance. 

_Wise men say,_

_ Only fools rush in. _

Lance starts in the lead, and they slowly start swaying to the beat. Keith tries his hardest not to step on Lance’s toes but he eventually does and Lance winces. Keith tries to murmur an apology but when he locks his gaze with Lance, he’s blown away.

Lance’s pupils are dilated and they’re filled with love. For some reason, Keith recognizes that look. As if he’s seen it a million times before.

Keith’s heart quickens and skips a beat. Hesuddenly feels overwhelmed and all he wants to do right now is to kiss Lance. But Lance is already beating him to it, leaving forward and pressing his lips against Keith’s.

“I love you.” Keith whispers against Lance’s lips. He flushes, realizing this is the first time he’s ever said that. Though it feels like the first time, Keith feels like he’s said it a thousand times. Lance freezes against him but the song continues playing. Keith is starting to worry that he rushed everything  too fast  and that Lance doesn’t feel the same way.

_ But I can’t help _

_ falling in love  _

_ with you _

But then, Lance is smiling against Keith’s lips and he’s pulling back to stare at Keith with those blown out pupils and a soft gaze full of love. “I love you too.” He replies, and he’s kissing Keith again.

Keith just melts into a puddle in Lance’s arms.

* * *

Keith realizes two things.

One, he’s in love with Lance more than he’s been with anyone else.

Two, Lance isn’t the happy go-lucky person Keith thought he was.

He finds that Lance has been faking his smiles a lot, that he’s burdened with insecurities. That Lance has this heavy weight over his shoulders and is too scared to really open up to anyone, instead lying and saying he’s fine.

The first time Keith found out was when he was lying next to Lance at night. He hadn’t been able to sleep that night and when he did, he woke up the next 5 minutes to hear sniffling and crying.

He instantly shot up in bed, asking Lance what was wrong. Lance wasn’t answering, his body shaking with sobs.

“Lance?”

“I’m sorry.” Lance finally said after a few minutes. “I... I forgot to tell you I had, uhm, nightmares.”

Keith’s heart drops. “Don’t apologize.”

Lance laughs but it sounds forced and hysterical. “I think I have to, Keith. These... these nightmares are all the same. Most of them are about the children from the planet Hauni.”

Keith remembered what had happened there. Lance and Shiro has a mission to go there due to a distress signal. There was robeast there and Shiro and Lance were too busy fighting it to realize that the children were captured getting killed by the Galra soldiers.

Lance had always blamed himself for letting the children die after that. 

“Lance.. That wasn’t your fault.” Keith said softly. “You fought off a robeast so that the rest of the planet wouldn’t get killed.”

“But the children died, Keith.” Lance sighed. “It’s all my fault. If I was fast enough—“

“It’s not your fault.” Keith cut him off. He reached his fingers down to lace them through Lance’s. “It was  never  your fault. What happened couldn’t have been prevented. Don’t ever blame yourself. These... things are part of being a paladin of Voltron.”

Lance turned to face Keith. Keith sees the vulnerability in Lance’s eyes; the sorrow, the pain, and the insecurities hidden beneath them. “I love you.” Lance whispers. “But I’m scared. It’s not just the children I dream of. I sometimes also dream of losing you.”   


Keith raises his eyebrow to ask but Lance beats him to it. “Sometimes in my dreams, I walk into a hospital and they tell me you’re gone. And I’d feel this pain in my chest and my heart would hurt a lot.” Lance sighs, “I don’t know...”

Keith shushes him with a kiss, “It’s going to be okay. I’m still here.” Lance nods at his words.

Keith spends the night holding Lance because he’s scared too. 

* * *

Lance knows he’s at war. As he and Keith gets closer, his fear of losing Keith becomes stronger and stronger. It’s like he can’t bear losing Keith, like he knows how much hurt it will be if Lance ever loses him.

So he makes a promise; He will protect Keith  no matter what . 

Keith is important to him. He makes Lance’s days bearable when he feels like there a abuse weight over his chest. Keith makes Lance laugh and there’s no one other than Keith that Lance trusts with all his heart. Just seeing Keith in the morning and knowing he’s safe makes Lance relieved.

That’s why he can’t ever lose him.

But why is it now, that Keith is standing in front of him, protecting him?

“Keith.” Lance cries. He’s on the floor, and in no position to stand or fight. “Keith, please.” There’s a robeast in front of Keith, it’s sword hanging by it’s side. Keith is panting, his body full of injuries and he’s also in no position to fight.

But Keith will do anything for Lance.

Lance is crying because he promised to himself to protect Keith. Lance realizes now why he made that promise; Keith had always been there in his previous lives. That was why he knew  everything  about Keith— the way he laughed, cried, smiled, the way he wrinkles his nose when he’s offended and more.

And he realizes that Keith always left him in their previous lives first. Keith had broken his heart in two because Keith had always protected Lance.

He doesn’t want Keith to leave him again.

Lance grunts, standing up weakly. Keith is crying out for Lance to stand down but Lance ignores him. The robeast charges them and Lance only has a millisecond to move in front of Keith—

_ Blip. Blip. Blip. _

Lance hears his own blood drip to the floor.

_ Blip. Blip. Blip. _

Lance hears Keith’s enraged scream as he charges the robeast.

_ Blip. Blip. Blip. _

“Lance. Look at me.”

Lance opens his eyes. He doesn’t know how he ends up on the floor, in Keith’s lap. “Keith.” Lance whispers. His voice is hoarse. “ _ Keith _ .”

“Lance, you fucking dumbass.” Keith sobs. “Just. Just stay, okay? The team is coming soon. It’s gonna be fine.”

Lance nods, closing his eyes.  It hurts , he thinks. But he doesn’t want to worry Keith so he tries not to move much. “I thought I was going to lose you.” Lance says. His lips crack and bleed but he wants to tell Keith. “I need to tell you—“

“Shut up. Shut the fuck up.” Keith cuts him off, voice cracking. “Shut up, Lance. Don’t say anything. The team is coming, okay? You’re going to be fine.”

“I saw my previous life’s memories.” Lance says, despite of what Keith said. Keith’s eyes become glossy with tears. “You.. you broke my heart,” Lance forces a bitter laugh but blood is spilling out of his mouth and it causes Keith to alarm with panic, “You died first in my previous lives. You always did. I didn’t want to lose you again. I can’t.”

“Stop it.” Keith cries. “Stop it. Don’t do this, Lance. Let’s talk about something else,  please .”

Lance had never heard Keith’s voice break like that. He opens his eyes and he sees Keith crying, tears pouring down his cheeks. Lance gives a sad smile, which causes his lips to crack and bleed more. “‘M sorry.” He says, his words starting to slur. “Didn’t. Mean for this to. Happen.” He has to pause between words because talking hurts.

_Everything hurts._

Keith’s body is shaking with sobs, and he  knows  Lance is going to bleed out in his arms. “Stay with me.” Keith whispers. His heart is breaking into pieces and he’s never felt like this before. He’s scared of losing Lance.

He’s scared. But what can he do? The team is far away, and he only has a few minutes left before Lance bleeds out in his arms. The universe is cruel, making Keith watch as the light fades from Lance’s eyes.

The universe  isn’t _fair_.

“‘M sorry, babe.”

_Since when was it fair_?


End file.
